Cracking the Safe

As a person in recovery who’s also diagnosed bipolar II and ADHD, finding the right balance in life often feels like I’m cracking a safe. One notch in the wrong direction can lock me into depression for days.

It sounds so simple, but I’ve only recently discovered how important sleep is to my sanity. I always believed I was functional with 6 hours a night or less. Oh how wrong I was! I easily require 8-9 hours, lest the dial slips in the wrong direction.

Over the weekend, my husband’s band played a gig, meaning I didn’t become one with my pillow until 3:30am. 3 days later and I’m still feeling the effects. My mood’s been stable for several months, but today was a steep nose-dive into depression and irritability.

I’ve learned so much these past 2 years about myself, yet I still do stupid things now and again. This old gal just can’t party until the wee hours of the morning anymore. How did I ever do that, plus alcohol? I can’t even remember anymore.

On a positive note, it’s easier to climb out of a depression pit when I understand what got me here and what I need to do to get out. So, whether my misfiring mind likes it or not, I will force myself to sleep early tonight, hit the gym early tomorrow, and remember to take shit one day at a time.

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2 thoughts on “Cracking the Safe

  1. Great reading this. I am 2 years sober, 41 and buried stuff all my life. I have bipolar 2 disorder (found out 3 months into sobriety). I had one question. Do your parents or close friends “get it”?? Mine do not even recognize it as an illness. I may send them this article, but for some reason, I’m afraid, and I’m bloody 41 years old!!! Thanks for sharing. Really helps to know someone is going through same struggles and doing a fantastic job of handling it all. Cheers

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