New Year, New Me

Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book.  Write a good one.

At the beginning of 2013, I couldn’t have predicted how the year would end.  I was in the belly of my addiction, with a court date looming that threatened to take away my driver’s license.  Although the charges were unrelated to alcohol, alcoholism put me in the position that I was in.  At the beginning of 2013, I was scared and saw no hope on the horizon.

As we get closer to packing 2013 into a box and putting it on a shelf, I am amazed at how differently the year is ending as compared to how it started.  I am 294 days sober, the ever-present anxiety is gone and my family relationships are improving every day.

Much of 2013 was focused on staying sober.  “To any lengths.”  While that emotional journey needs to continue, I’m feeling solid enough in sobriety to shift some of the focus towards my physical well-being.  For decades, I’ve berated myself for needing to lose weight.  I’ve allowed myself to yo-yo throughout my life and it’s time to take hold of that issue the way I’ve taken hold of alcoholism.

When standing at the top of the calendar, looking down, it’s impossible to predict how the year’s going to unfold.  I know that I have the ability to make changes, as proven in 2013.  I’m ready to jump in with both feet and do the work.  For me though, it all comes back to staying sober.  In sobriety, I have the capacity to run forward and achieve.  Without sobriety, I won’t just stand still, but will quickly fall backwards.  When my mind is clear (that is, clear of the alcoholic voice), the choice is dead easy: keep running.  Er, considering I’m a Canadian in December: “the choice is dead easy: keep skiing, eh!”

cross-country_skiing_tracks

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2 thoughts on “New Year, New Me

  1. So proud of you. 294 days? Awesome!!! I felt your pain and frustrations this past year through your posts and now I get to see you on the other side. Making great strides towards being a better you! You did it and will continue to do it. Happiest of new year’s to you, my friend!!

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