My car’s license plates expired 2 weeks ago. Last year, when I let this happen, I also put off paying the ticket I received for said expired plates. So much so, that my license was suspended and I wound up in court bargaining with the prosecutor to allow me to keep it. That was a $1,000 clusterfuck of procrastinations.
My home has been my home for 11 years. There are unpacked boxes in the basement.
There is an unfinished needlepoint in a closet that hasn’t been touched in 15 years.
I put off everything. I am always watching the clock and begging it to pause, just for a little while. Just long enough to finish whatever task I’ve put off far too long. I bargain with the clock. I have to leave in 15 minutes; I can play Candy Crush for 10 more minutes, because it’ll only take 5 minutes to do my hair and makeup and pack my lunch, right?
I work a desk job and I’ll often look at the clock and realize I’ve done nothing productive for hours, and there’s not enough time left to do what must be done. I end up working late and on weekends when there’s a hard deadline.
My doctors say that’s ADHD. Perhaps. That’s easier to digest than “you’re just a shitty, lazy person.”
I should be making dinner right now. Looking at the clock, I think: fuck it, I can blog for another 20 minutes.